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My heart is torn between my beloved wife and my young hot transvestite lover

Thursday , 31, August 2017 Leave a comment

RSSMix.com Mix ID 8249793:My heart is torn between my beloved wife and my young hot transvestite lover on BenGummer.net

Got a problem? Write to Deidre here.
Every problem gets a personal reply, usually within 24 hours weekdays.
You can also private message on the DearDeidreOfficial Facebook page.
Follow me on Twitter @deardeidre or write to Deidre Sanders, The Sun, London SE1 9GF
(please enclose SAE).
Dear Deidre
I AM having amazing sex with a transvestite guy I met at a party even though I am married.
I’m 39 and my wife’s 37.
Getty – Contributor I’ve been have a hot and steamy affair with a transvestite I met at a party[/caption]
We have been happily married for almost eight years.
We have two young children aged five and three.
I have never had homosexual thoughts until I met this guy.
We met at a mutual friend’s party two months ago.
As soon as we were introduced we seemed to have an instant connection.
He is 23 and very convincing dressed as a woman.
Getty – Contributor I’m married with kids but I keep swanning off to have hot sex with my lover[/caption]
At the end of the night we swapped phone numbers and we met again a few days later.
My wife was working a night shift — she’s a nurse.
As it happened the kids were with their grandparents for the night too, so I didn’t have to explain anything.
We ended up back at his place, drunk. The sex was incredible. I felt on top of the world.
And so it has gone on every time we’ve met.
It is really difficult for us to see one another but when we do it is awesome.
Each time I promise myself it will be the last time but I can’t seem to stop.
It has really made me question everything about my life and my marriage.
Getty Images I’m now really torn about the whole situation and feel though I’m going off the rails[/caption]
I’ve never looked at another guy before, let alone one who dresses as a woman, but it feels so normal, as if it’s meant to be.
We have told one another how we feel and have started talking about the future.
I know I’m in serious trouble of imploding.
I feel as though I’m going off the rails.
He is now saying that he wants me to leave my wife and move in with him but I am completely torn.
My wife will be horrified and she’ll never forgive me.
The last thing I want is for her to be hurt.
She doesn’t deserve it and neither do our kids or the rest of the family.
DEIDRE SAYS:  Real life involves real choices, whether you’re straight, gay or bisexual.
But we do not choose our sexuality and falling for this guy has brought about a crisis which is going to be impossible to ignore.
You may be bisexual but that does not excuse cheating. There are sexual health implications too.
You are going to have to decide whether your wife is really the love of your life, and so make every effort to be faithful to her and be an uncomplicated father figure to your children, or whether you have been suppressing a gay part of your sexual make-up which is actually too important to be denied.
My e-leaflet Bisexual Issues can help you better understand your sexuality.
This other guy is so young his feelings may change but, unless you will be able to cut him out of your life entirely – which sounds unlikely – you’re going to have to be honest with your wife.
She deserves that.
Feel like my work crush has friend zoned me
Dear Deidre
I HAVE fallen in love with a colleague but she always thinks I’m joking when I ask her out.
She agrees but then says: “This isn’t a date night.”
I’m 25 and she’s 29.
Getty – Contributor All I want to do is get together with my work colleague[/caption]
I’m a very shy guy so for a long while I tried keeping things just as friends between us.
It’s taken me two years to pluck up the courage to ask her out.
I can’t stop thinking about her.
I know I’m not her type and I love being her friend but I just can’t stop wanting more.
DEIDRE SAYS:  Then tell her once more and say you are not joking.
You’ve nothing to lose.
If she still puts you off, at least then you’ll know where you stand.
Lots of women really like shy guys and she may well appreciate you being a good listener.
This is something a shy person can do very well.
Most people really do appreciate being able to talk about themselves to someone who’s happy to listen.

Topic for today

ONE in six UK adults has taken part in a threesome and it’s one of the most common fantasies readers write to me about.

Can you safely involve a third party in your sex life? My leaflet Thinking Of A Threesome will help you decide for yourself. Email me at problems@deardeidre.org

I’m absolutely devastated at loss of my baby
Dear Deidre
I WENT for my first pregnancy scan only to be told the baby had died.
It was such a shock.
My partner and I were devastated but now he seems fine while I am not.
I am fed up pretending I am OK when I feel so miserable.
Getty – Contributor I feel a mixture of guilt and complete and utter misery since the loss of my baby[/caption]
I’m 24 and my partner’s 25.
We’ve been together for three years and both of us want a baby together.
I feel immense guilt and now think he no longer wants me.
We are going to try again but I would like to wait a while to heal.
I don’t know what to do.
DEIDRE SAYS:  I’m sorry you are so unhappy but your feelings are natural.
Losing a baby can be devastating.
Your partner may well just feel he can’t bear to talk about his feelings.
Grief can show itself as anger and numbness as well as sorrow.
Tell him you don’t want this to come between you. Find support through the Miscarriage Association (miscarriageassociation.org.uk, 01924 200 799).
Ex hates new man meeting our son
Dear Deidre
MY son’s dad hates him being around my new man.
He’s started picking our son up from nursery and refusing to give him back to me if he knows my new guy is at mine or is likely to be.
I left my son’s dad because I felt unloved and taken for granted – it was like he wouldn’t notice me if I was on fire.
Alamy I’m fed up of being stuck in the middle between my ex, my partner and my kid[/caption]
I’m 26 and he’s 28.
We’d been together for four years.
Our son is three.
My ex won’t compromise about access and wants me to play to his tune as he says the split is all my fault.
If I stay separated from the father of my child I know he’ll give me grief for ever over any man I am with.
I feel stuck.
DEIDRE SAYS:  Your little boy is the innocent in all this and your ex’s manipulative behaviour is so damaging for him, but he knows you’re vulnerable through your son.
Point out that the way he treats you is driving you away, not building bridges.
Ask him to come for family mediation to find a workable compromise.
You can find your nearest through National Family Mediation (nfm.org.uk, 0300 4000 636).


Dear Deidre

I fantasise about watching my wife have sex with someone else but now I think she will do it behind my back


Can I keep quiet over my affair with my pal’s mum? I’m worried I’ll tell him when I’m drunk


I’m having amazing sex with my next-door neighbour… and she says she wants to ditch her husband

Dear deidre

My ex only wants to have sex in secret after he dumped me with no explanation..but I still love him


My heart is torn between my beloved wife and my young hot transvestite lover


My controlling boyfriend drove me to sleep with my friend from school – but I don’t know how to leave him


I fancy my wife as much as I did when we met – but we just aren’t having enough sex these days

Hubby’s lost the urge for loving
Dear Deidre
TALKING about having a baby is one thing – but my husband doesn’t seem interested in making one.
He has always had a low sex drive and is happy with sex once every couple of weeks.
I was checking when I ovulated so we would know when was the best time to conceive but my husband said that it was putting too much pressure on him so I stopped.
I am 26 and my husband is 28.
Getty – Contributor There’s a complete lack of passion in my marriage[/caption]
He has a child from a previous relationship and I think that one is enough for him.
It makes me feel like he has no interest in me.
He just says he is tired and goes to sleep.
It is making me feel so unattractive.
It is starting to tear our marriage apart and I feel us becoming more and more distant.
DEIDRE SAYS:  There could be so many issues behind this.
He probably felt under pressure to perform only when the time was right but also you need to talk to him again to discover exactly why he seems so reluctant and whether it is tied up with his past experiences of being a dad.
My e-leaflet Different Sex Drives explains how to find a compromise.
BECOME A FORCES PENPAL: My service has helped cheer up our lads for years – especially those serving overseas. Find out how to join in here.

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